ARTICLE: Gone til November

Gone ’til November (By DAP)

“And DAP Says.
I May Not Be Gone ‘Til November, But My Ass Can Still Write These Here Columns”

“When You Were Born, You Cried and The World Smiled.
Therefore, You Should Live Your Life In A Way That When You Die,
The World Will Cry and You Will Smile”
-Native American Proverb

I am The D-A-P in the place to be;
I went to Fresno State University.
And since kindergarten I acquired the knowledge,
cause after 12th grade I went straight to college.

Humble greetings, fellow readers of Altrap.com and Jambalaya in print, email, Internet and beyond. I hope you had a decent Halloween over the weekend and you didn’t go overboard robbin’ little kids for bags or getting your hands bloody from punching on the concrete. In any case, I’m back with another one. By now, most of you heard or read or seen the story of the murder of Jam Master Jay from Run DMC. Like the rest of ya’ll, I’d like to know “WHY!!!!!!” and did my fair share of cussin’ and playin’ all of my RUN DMC tracks and realizing how truly talented and ahead of the game they were.

Yeah, the group is technically no more but we will always have the memories of seeing them in concert (especially when they traveled to Fresno back in ’95), their videos, borrowing or copying or stealing their tapes from friends and relatives and even sneaking in the movies to see that “Tougher Than Leather” flick. In any case, I’d like to take this time and give a huge “FUCK YOU” to all media who have speculated that Jay’s murder was due to some chickenshit ‘East Coast-West Coast War’ or beef with a rival crew or Taxes or whatever. You bastards never liked the music anyway, so don’t say a Goddamn thing now!!!!!!

Well, another ‘Election Day’ has come and gone. And it seems that the ReBloodlicans – ooops, I meant Republicans, have beaten the DemoCrips – dammit, I meant Democrats, into a political bloody pulp and have gained ‘control’ in Congress. Personally, I really don’t like politics, I have little to NO RESPECT WHATSOEVER to either group and I wish they really shut their tired, old asses up and get a real job like the rest of us!!!!!!! Look, I understand and recognize this thing called ‘Democracy’ and ‘Due Process’ and all. But, these people tend to screw things up more than what was there in the first place. Sorry, folks but I don’t really care.

Anyway, I gotta take care of things, so let me finish this up with some quick remarks:

– “Jackass: The Movie” isn’t evidence that the end of civilization at hand. Instead, it’s another example of why a bunch of twenty something white boys got waaay too much time on their hands and what happens when they get a hold of a camera. Either way, it’s funny because I’m not doing that shit!!!!!!

– The WWE can get ratings again if they hired some writers that know about Action or Comedy. Therefore, I call upon Vince McMahon to make that call and get John Woo, Quentin Tarrantino, Chris Rock or the Hughes Brothers.

– Do yourself a favor and lend support to the National Organization to Shoot Bill O’Reilly into the Sun (NOBOIS). Check out their site at http://www.nobois.org. You’ll be glad you did!!!!! *Sarcastic Grin*

– And finally, I’d like to end things with an ode to JMJ: You showed the world how to use the “Rock Box”. You taught us how to “Walk This Way”. You showed the “Sucker MCs” and “Sucker DJS” how to “Rock The House”. Along with DJ RUN And D, ya’ll brothers represented the “Hollis Crew” to the fullest. Your “Beats To The Rhyme” proved once and for all why you were the “King Of Rock”. Everytime the critics asked “Can You Rock It Like This”, you told them “You Talk Too Much” and if they still didn’t understand, then “You’re Blind”. Despite teaching us a lesson of “Roots, Rap, Reggae” and that this was “Run’s House”, many fans stopped listening, sending ya’ll to “Hard Times”. However, you loudly stated that you were “Proud To Be Black” and “I’m Not Going Out Like That”. Thus, you came “Back From Hell”, taught us how to “Bob Your Head” again and how you cats celebrated “Christmas In Hollis”. You was “Tougher Than Leather” and displayed the skills to show why “They Call Us Run DMC” and “Jam Master Jay”. Sadly, You have become just another victim on “The AVE.” and that when it comes to life “It’s Tricky”. But, I must “Pause” and say, on behalf of the entire hip-hop loving, beat making, column writing nation a hearty THANK YOU for the beats and memories. Though “It’s Over”, I will still raise “My Adidas” high because I know that you were “Down With The King” and you truly earned the right to wear the “Crown Royal”…”It’s Like That” and that’s the way it is, HUH!!!

And, on that note, I’m out.

-DAP

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