Homey-sexual activity (By Matin Salaam Bari)
Why is “DL Brother” the new, hot term, being passed around like Bob Marley spliffs, at 4:20, at a 1970 Hippie convention? You can find it on television, and in African-American print staples such as Ebony and Jet. It lies heavy on the tongues and in the minds of many sisters throughout America’s metropolitan areas. Why, all of a sudden, are there always at least 4 television shows “showcasing” the homosexual steelo, such as “Queer Eye…”, “Will and Grace”, “Boy Meets Boy”, “It’s All Relative”? Why is it that if I walk around D.C. and I bump into and step on the shoes of the average 17 year old black male, he is most likely to either wanna shoot me or blow me? I’ll tell you why! Or at least I’ll tell you what I think! First of all, it’s not as simple as simply declaring this generation “lost”, like so many choose to do. You can’t just say that “times have changed” and that the older generation’s “dropped the ball” somewhere. It’s definitely more complicated, with details much more intricate than that. I believe the answer lies in one of two theories.
Theory One: Gay Pride
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Just like there’s nothing wrong with wearing baggy jeans and hoodies… er… throwbacks (I keep forgetting it’s not 1992 anymore). In this world where being opinionated is just as taboo as having AIDS, gay has become “the way”. And it’s more accepted to be Klan than a homo-phob. Don’t you dare question homosexuality. Gay is an attitude, a style, a mannerism, a life, a people. So please don’t hate! Just the other day my fiancee and I were discussing what we would do if our 5-year old daughter was/became/turned (I’ll leave this choice to the reader) gay. We both agreed that we love the little nigglet too much and that the little one has a personality so inviting that we couldn’t imagine NOT loving her, regardless of her sexual preference. So, yeah, I don’t hate. It’s about time homosexuality came to the forefront after years (decades, generations, and civilzations) of people having been persecuted for being such. Being gay is a birthrite just like having asthma or sickle cell. Oh, but it’s not a sickness! Being gay, these days, is like that milk chocolate chick in the ‘hood with the real green eyes. We like her cause she’s different. The aura surrounding the gay man, these days, is represented by the Prada stenched fashion sense (or whatever the hot shit is now), moreso, than that nasty sex that’s taking place. But regardless of my irrelavent opinions on dookey shoot penetration, gay men have style. They are funny. They’re charismatic and charming. To see a 6 foot 2 inch man, in incredible shape, glide down the block as graceful as Jospehine Baker is quite a sight. I don’t care if you’re gay or not. Fuck that! Gay is just cool! Now lets decipher why gay is cool. Is it cool just because? Or are there forces driving this gay revolution through full swing in 2004. Some say there is no revolution at all; That gay people are just getting their proper representation and the fact is that we, the ignorant, are responsible for calling this a revolution instead of simply human evolution. I, personally, don’t know or give a fuck. The more black men that turn/become/are (I told you it’s up to you) sweet, the less men there are trying to lure wifey away thus limiting the possiblity of me catching that 25 with a L. Seriously, though, the real issue is the influence this phenomenon is having on young black men and women.
Theory Two: Homey-Sexual Indoctrination
(Warning: Use of the term “The Man” has no racial connotation. “The Man” simply refers to the human agenda as it influence system we live in as a structure, a matrix, even.)
I swear, in an attempt to control the population and its reproduction, the Man has a larger say in the spreading of AIDS, drugs, and homosexuality than we already believe. They WANT us to be gay. I also have this other theory about homosexuality and white men and The Roman Empire and innateness, but I have no facts upon which to base such an absurd claim – please forgive me but stay tuned. I think the powers that be have realized that whoever they couldn’t reach with crack, they can reach through orgasm. That’s the one thing, man, especially the verile black man, could never control. Even leaders like MLK, Jr. and Jesse Jackson fell victim. So while our parents where marching for civil rights–they should have been marching for human rights, but that’s another editorial alltogether — the Man was planning his next move. He, the Man, conceded a few jobs, a little education, and some single family luxury homes, becuase he knew the black man’s weakness. Don’t get me wrong. Maybe the Man knows something I don’t. In fact, I’m sure the Man knows something I don’t. Perhaps, the Man’s scientists have researched and concluded that there’s an actual numerical figure that represents the limit on human population of the earth. Perhaps, if we were to reach this limit it would cause that tidal wave like the one in that movie ‘The Day After Tomorrow’. Maybe as we continue to reach this figure, the Man does all he can to prevent this devastation. That might actually be considered as noble. Instead of all of mankind drowning, all we have to do is brainwash our children. We’d promote homosexuality through T.V. programming and offer over-the-top sexual content to our children so at least if they don’t become gay, they’ll be oversexed and used up by 22. Either way, if we create an atmosphere where EVERYTHING is referenced back to the sexual, albeit hetero- or homo-, reproduction is sure to decrease. Even the strong, such as myself, are affected. As I walk around the part of town I refer to as PHAT ASSES EVERYWHERE, aka Downtown DC during the workday, I realize that looking at women’s asses is my only reason for working. I’ve declared monogamy so this is all I have. And boy do all the ladies oblige! Black Thought hit that ‘Pussy Galore’ shit dead on the nail.
And is it just me, or am I seeing more and more young black males switching as they get off the train while carrying the fly Dooney and Burke man purse with the Gucci shades. I mean YOUNG males! I’m talkin’ 15 -19! Why is this? Being black, and an American male, myself, I know and have the insight to admit that we are probably the second most easily influenced sector of America. I know that we truly, truly believe that if we put our heart and souls into practicing our jump shot for endless hours and running up and down our project’s steps at 5:00 a.m. every morning like Sebastian Talfair, that we’ll get that NBA Lottery contract. Or that if we bite the right style of rhyme and mix it with the right bitten style of rhyme, we may just get that call from Dame Dash and end up on stage with Dash placing that infamous chain around our necks. Yep. All 5 million of us. We ALL believe this shit! Do you hear me! WE ALL BELIEVE THIS SHIT! Theres like 400 NBA players, and maybe 100 successful rappers. That equals 500 brothers. So if you measure “success” by financial gain, and you come from the ‘hood with no real aspiration to go to college and learn a profession, you should know that there’s only 500 “success” slots for 5 million brothers! I mean, we could all try to hustle, but as we’re beginning to see, everybody on your block can’t hustle to the same group of fiends. That’s how heads roll. But that’s all they show us these days. We either need to rap, play ball, or hustle. And now, be gay! ‘Cause if you ain’t know, gay is cool!
After crack took a lot of our fathers, all we were left with were our mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunties and TV. Hmm. Interesting. Maybe Tyshaun, Jr. walks with a switch because Tyshaun, Sr. is serving 3, 3 to 9’s in Rahway, leaving Ty surrounded with nothing but women to base his thoughts and mannersisms on. Before crack, during the first two decades after the Civil Rights Movement, it looked like the seeds of positivity and equality would take root and blossom. Alot of us were able to go to college and whatnot. Rappers wore shit like Africa medallions and red, black and green, so we did too. After we got used to how crack ravaged our communities, we noticed that the middle class had evaporated and families either moved deep into the suburbs with intentions on escaping crack, or they stayed in the hood and all the bullshit that crack brought to it. Now that crack is “under control”, the Man has used sex to not only separate the black man from the black woman by making it “cool” to be gay, but also to sell any and every thing he can to the black man and woman in the name of sex. It’s simple: If you smoke cigarrettes, you’ll look cool, thus making yourself attractive to little girls your age. You’ll have an orgasm. If you sell crack or weed, little girls around your way will think you have money and be attracted to you. You’ll have an orgasm. If you drink beer, you will not only enjoy an altered state of consiousness, but the little girl you drink with will as well, thus lowering her inhibitions. She may allow you to hit it. You’ll have an orgasm. If you wear this fragrance, you’ll have an orgasm on an elevator. Women lose all control when they smell it. If you ride a motorcycle and do dangerous tricks while riding down the busiest street on the Southside, you’ll have an orgasm. If you drink Sprite, you’ll have an orgasm. If you’re a little girl, you don’t need a man to have an orgasm. All men are dogs, anyway. Especially all black men. I know you’re going through that awkard stage, ripe at 15. Your little poom poom is starting to get hot. Don’t fret! Call your homegirl, you don’t need your mind and body to fully develop. You’re already overdeveloped, physically. Call your best girlfriend. Have an orgasm. It’s ok. It’s actually sexy for two women as opposed to two men. That’s what I was taught, anyway. Did I mention that gay is cool?
QA Project Coordinator
STARS SM/I Project
1120 Vermont Avenue, NW Suite 300
Washington, DC 20005