“I got tic-tacs in my mouth…

…with a big dick”

Hmmmmm....

The world-famous Holy Moly mailout this week contains the following gem…

“I was out drinking with some friends this week. During conversation, one of them happened to mention that a friend of his wife had recently spent some time in the company of Method Man’s current boyfriend. Further questioning revealed that both the champion college lacrosse player and Wu-Tang Clansman and his occasional partner-in-crime Redman prefer their bread buttered on both sides.”

Now, in the interests of exploring this situation with a degree of fairness, I suggest we check out the evidence…

Method Man & Redman are extremely “tight” (extreme no homo), appearing on each others albums, even recording a full album together, and then going on to make both a shite movie, and an even shiter TV series. (Its been so long since I’ve seen “How High” that I don’t really remember anything from it (except its utter shitness) and I don’t really ever want to see it again, but I’m betting they were so close there was a ‘comic’ bedroom scene a la these guys or these guys.)

They also made frequent appearances of mixtapes – Funkmaster Flex’s “60 Minutes Of Funk” joints help support the theory that the lovable duo are secret turdburglars… take for example the Redman freestyle on Volume 2, where he explains his love of giving fellatio while eating tic-tacs (see above quote). Or you can go to Volume 1 and catch the Red and Meth freestyle near the end…

“Microphone coming down when I have to tweak ya
(Break ya) ass, blow your ass one time, peace ta
Dj Twiz, I will leave your ass blind
Cause the ruckus for all you muthafukas
Don’t you know me and Method Man jam like smuckers…”

hmmm…

“Yea, word up, 1996 in your ass, in your ass, Funkmaster Flex
Funkmaster Flex, complilation freestyle album, freestyle in your ass
In your ass, in your ass, nigga, anybody out there wanna bring it
Bring it, bring it on, bring it on…”

hmmm…

Also bear in mind that Redman has also informed us in the past that “male groupies get shook” when he comes “from the rear”, and that he hangs with Erick Sermon, who is many people’s number one suspect for the Gay Rapper title, and you’ll see that the prosecution is building an almighty case against the duo.

So what do you think? Are Red & Meth butt lovers? Or should we all just be turning our attention back to Kwame now he’s back on the scene as a producer?

_____________________________

On a totally separate note, listening to those Funk Flex mixtapes again for the first time in ages, has only served to help me realise what a complete fucking spanner Flex is. He could barely mix a fucking drink, and his constant wittering over every track is only rivalled by MF’s favourite Black Moon DJ for power of irritation. (EVILDEEISONTHEMIXCOMEON KICKIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

In other news…

Hiphop video ho model Gloria Velez forgets her breakfast before her appearance at Spring Break – eats at the event. (NSFW)

Jay-Z signs Lady Sov – the whitebelts love it. Most normal people don’t care, and won’t listen – we’re waiting for Jigga to bring back bse’s fiancee.

Speaking of Hov, here he tries the waxwork Doug E Fresh look… WTFIGO with the turtlenecks?

______________________________

Mobb Deep – Have A Party
Windows Media Player
Realplayer

Dilated Peoples – Back Again
Audio (WMP)
Video (WMP)

Bun B – Draped Up Remix
Video (WMP)

Scarface – I Never Snitch
(Mp3 download)

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Today’s listening list
Antoinette – I’ve Got An Attitude
Chi Ali – Funky Lemonade (Remix)
Pharcyde – Passing Me By (Fly As A Pie Remix)
Scoundrel Squad – Ghetto
Silver Bullet – 20 Seconds To Comply
Spoonie G – The Godfather
The Meters – Oh Calcutta
(download it here)

2 Replies to ““I got tic-tacs in my mouth…”

  1. Ah shit gay jokes. Just what we needed more of…

    MistaJam is marrying Monie now not me. I’m actually engaged to Rosario Dawson.

    Regarding Hovie as DougieFreshyeah, do you not think that they are clearly both related to Reggie Miller and that RUSH is really Sam Cassel?

  2. you know the rules… if you can’t be arsed (no homo) writing a review, call the nearest emcee with ‘man’ in his name a gay rapper…

    congrats to king tubby, nice one on that extra from Sin City – thought you would have set your sights higher… Betty Boo or Donna She-Rocker perhaps?

    I can see the Reggie connex, though I’m not buying Rush as Sam Cassell… big ups to Phife for taking up Rush’s phone-carrying duties though…

    why is it SO rotten?

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