< Generalisation mode on >
I had the misfortune to be in Daytona last weekend while the Daytona 500 Nascar thingy was going on. Wow, what an eyeopener – its no wonder Bush got back in with all these fuckwits running around, and I’m sure that what I saw was just a cross section of what lies between the 2 coasts. It was like a weekend-long episode of the Dukes Of Hazzard (without Daisy to take my mind off the Klan meeting in my midst.)
During my visit I witnessed the following things (and yes, its highly stereotypical of me, but fuck it – they’ve been doing it with Hiphop for years… so)
People actually called Billy-Joe and Cletus
Some spectacular mullet-wearing
Drinking beer at 8am without being Irish (proven by the fact it was piss weak Budweiser)
Checked shirts by the Confederate flag flying truckload
No shirts, exposing hairy backs and beer bellies
Someone giving directions to the bathrooms like so, “Its that door over there, right behind where that nigger is standing.”
Jackets with Confederate flags on the back
Shitty Nascar jackets – who the fuck wants to run around with M&Ms on their back?
Spitting of saliva Olympic javelin-throwing distances
Deliverance-style facial deformities (numbering into the double digits – break out the banjo)
Double digits – did you see what I did there?
Confederate flag t-shirts
The entire tobacco output of India being smoked in an entire day. For real, their kids have no chance – if the inbreeding doesn’t fuck them up, then their mothers smoking throughout pregnancy will ensure they all turn out as Aryan Muggsy Bogues’
Boring hillbilly racist dickheads masturbating themselves into a frenzy over some ad-wearing idiot doing 5498745987 laps of an oval track while they all yahoo in unison. Sort it out, you dicks – its not a sport unless it has a ball
For real, I feel sorry for the people of Daytona who got invaded by these idiots and their loud pickups with ‘Git ‘er done’ plastered all over the front. Maybe we can ship all the normal people out next Daytona racing weekend to somewhere safe (like Tennesse – it’ll be empty then anyway) and just drop the big one right in the middle of the track.
Erase Racism – Erase Daytona!
< Generalisation mode off >
Hiphop stuff coming in a minute…