Celebrity Look-a-like & other shite

I had the misfortune to be in the same room when VH-1’s ‘classic’ real-life series ‘Hogan Knows Best’ was on, and in the episode I saw, Hogan’s daughter was trying to get a record deal. Now for most people, grinding through A&R submissions trying to get your music heard by ANYONE who can give you that foot-in-the-door is the normal way of things… not for darling Brooke though. Apparently if your father possesses a pair of 24 inch pythons (no Dirk Diggler) then you automatically have a hotline to super celebrity whore producer Scott Storch, no matter how much you sound like generic R’n’B bitch #387687632. And so it came to pass that young Brooke entered a recording studio to Mariah her little Amazonian posterior off over Storch’s hot beat. Except the hot beat was a straight Jermaine Dupri bite that sounded like warm poo, and Hogan’s daughter had more punch-ins than Big Pun mid-asthma attack.