Boycott Sprite

You know they’re the first muhfuckas that used Hiphop to advertise their goods in a way that was semi-palatable to fans. So rather that some white dude rocking a sideways hat and adopting the B-Boy stance while ‘rapping’ about how dope his bed and sofa warehouse was, we had Fat Joe and A Tribe Called Quest (amongst others) actually making listenable little 30 second songs which helped pushed Sprite to the Urban market. (You’ll also remember the infamous St Ides commercials too, but since everyone in Hiphop is ballin’ now and drinking Cristal and Grey Goose all day, there’s little point in boycotting the cat’s piss that is St Ides Malt Liquor¹)

Anyway, things have turned full circle now… now we have EVERYONE goofy white and black people alike – all deciding that they can get down on the mic. The fact that technology now allows them to bite hard on whatever semi-popular sounds are ‘climbing the hit parade’ at the time of the ad recording now means that in the majority of modern instances, their semi legible raps are often laid over some semblance of a decent beat. Take this dinky little number for example, which borrows heavily from Xzibit and Dr Dre tracks in terms of production, and from the remedial reading school in terms of lyrics.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

¹ Plus we’re all already boycotting Ice Cube and St Ides in principal from the early 90’s anyway as his boast that it got your ‘jimmy thicker’ was blatantly untrue.

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