Album: Catch As Catch Can
Label: Fat Beats Records
Rating : 1 / 10
Reviewer: A to the L
If words like ‘retro-progressive’ and ‘punk-rock D.I.Y.’ in an artist or group’s description fill you with the urge to start picking at your belly-button fluff or start making dates to attend spoken word performances at homosexual coffee shops then Glue may be right up your street. If however you like your Hiphop to actually sound like Hiphop and not some highbrow interpretational clusterfuck of what Hiphop actually is then you might just want to read this review for extra ‘pointing and laughing’ credits.
From the start of “Catch As Catch Can”, the three man trio of Adeem, djdq, and Maker lay down their plan of attack on the listeners’ ears and carry it out with merciless precision. Quite simply, their flavor of independent Hiphop is less ‘a big boom sound with a helping of soul’ (as their press blurb proclaims) and more patronising bullshit from three people who think that they’re better than they actually are.
Adeem, the group’s front man is ‘best known for being the only emcee to win the Scribble Jam battle twice’ (and by the way, just in case you didn’t know, the rambling liner notes with this cd remind you that Eminem couldn’t even win this event once – obviously alluding to the fact that this fella thinks this makes him a worthier holder of the mic than Marshall.) The problem with Mr Adeem though is that he sounds EXACTLY like a winner of the Scribble Jam battle – a pretentious white kid who thinks that being able to cram 1453673 words into each line and recite them with as much feeling as someone’s mother checking off items on her shopping list makes you a great emcee. Sorry honky, there’s a lot more to it than that. djdq meanwhile is so hot on the cuts that he feels superior to capital letters, and although his turntablism is on-point throughout its often displayed at the end of every track, as if tacking on 40 seconds of crabs and flares on the outros and hooks automatically makes this authentic real Hiphop. (Word to KRS.) Bringing up the rear (no homo) Maker’s ‘dense, original production style’ actually involves him sucking most of the feeling from any of the tracks and replacing it with sluggish rock riffs and empty percussion.
Whether I’m listening to 100 mile a minute tracks such as the title cut or the similar ‘Making A Mess’, the slower paced efforts like ‘A Fly Can’t Bird’ or ‘Vessel’, the instrumental DJ tracks like ‘State Of The World’ and ‘In Between Her’, or cut-n-paste tripe like ‘Truth Or Dare’ the end result is the same. As I wearily plod through this album, it makes me think about what’s for dinner, or the fact that there’s a spot on the ceiling that I missed when I last painted, or the fact that I haven’t watched the education channels on TV for a while, or the fact that suicide is looking like a great option when offered as an alternative to completing this review.
Honestly. Just take my word for – this album fucking sucks. Glue, it seems, is an apt name for this group, because my ears feel like someone has funnelled Bostik into them, and I can vision this album stuck in the bottom of bargain bins in many’s a record shop.