Hipster alarm! Hipster alarm!

Tight jeans? Check.
Size L shirt? Check.
Appalling sneaker game? Check.
Caucasion persuasion? Check.
Dirty vagrant-like beard? Check.
‘Humorous’ intentional mis-spelling of simple words? Check.
Trying too hard to be cool by worshipping a track from a rarely-listened-to 90’s Hiphop album? Check.
Complete absence of rhythm? Check.
White belt? Too grainy to establish, but highly likely.