Tight jeans? Check.
Size L shirt? Check.
Appalling sneaker game? Check.
Caucasion persuasion? Check.
Dirty vagrant-like beard? Check.
‘Humorous’ intentional mis-spelling of simple words? Check.
Trying too hard to be cool by worshipping a track from a rarely-listened-to 90’s Hiphop album? Check.
Complete absence of rhythm? Check.
White belt? Too grainy to establish, but highly likely.

What was the point of this again, apart from attempting to live up to every stereotype in the book? I bet this has < pitchfork > ‘the innernets goin’ nuts’ < /pitchfork >

Yawn.