Serve tea, then murder…


For all those who are unaware, Rhymefest had a sitdown and a brew with Conservative leader David Cameron last week, following some unsurprisingly stereotypical comments from the politician recently about Hiphop.

What’s been most eye-opening about this meeting though, has been the reaction of Rhymefest’s camp following it. The following is taken from a PR release I received on Friday…


Today Rhymefest has officially become the face of hip-hop in the UK. Fest’s meeting with Tory leader and candidate for Pime Minister, David Cameron, to discuss their views on hip-hop and it’s effects on society in the UK have been exploding on to the covers of the news papers, television sets and computers all over the UK and beyond today.

Here are some brief quotes about this historic meeting:

“David told me what his issues were and I told him what my issues were with what could be perceived in what he was saying and we came to what I believe was an understanding.” – Rhymefest

“I had a very positive meeting with Rhymefest and Sony BMG today and I am keen to work with them in developing the idea of a project which harnesses the tremendous cultural power of artists and the music industry to support community radio and local music projects around the country,” – David Cameron

First off, I’m sure Rodney P, Skitz, Jehst and co will be interested to find that a cat from Chicago is now the ‘official’ standard bearer for Hiphop in the British Isles. Secondly, almost anyone with more than one braincell can see that this carefully stage-managed meeting will serve absolutely no purpose to anyone at all, ESPECIALLY Rhymefest and David Cameron.

Y’see, Rhymey old chum… to the average Hiphop fan in the UK, having tea with Cameron does not do much for your street cred. In fact, you’d probably get slightly more props if you got the PG Tips out with Tony and Gordon, than the leader of the UK equivalent of the Republican party. Cameron meanwhile, despite his lip service on the day, cares not a jot for Hiphop… he’ll ‘develop’ no ideas, and will soon be back on the regular campaign trail kissing babies, lying to old women, and becoming embroiled in sordid sex scandals (kinda like ‘Flavor Of Love’ with less gold teeth.)

Now why don’t you fuck off back to begging for scraps from Kanye’s studio table alongside GLC and Consequence? Quality UK Hiphop has enough trouble making moves, without some 2nd rate hanger on from Chicago coming over and giving it the big one. I guess when you can’t sell units in your own country, trying to David Hasselhoff your way to the top in the next available one is a logical step in your playbook.

My fellow scribe, Wasteland Drifter, agrees…

What is the point in it?

“Oh Mr Rhymefest, your tea drinking abilities have convinced me that rap music is the future and a positive force which we, the party of the elite, should embrace not condemn. It’s always a good thing that you poor folk have an outlet for expressing your rage at what you percieve to be an unjust system, it’s a lot better than you trying to kill all us rich folk like the French revolution! Guffaw, guffaw! Another slice of cake?”

What’s really going to happen is some half hearted attempt by the Tories to appear to be ‘down’ and some validation of their claims that some artists are twats.

While that could be seen as progress from them publically thinking all Hip-Hop artists are twats, why should we care what the hell the Tory party thinks?

They’ve done more damage to communities and killed more people than anything to do with Hip-Hop.

Fuck ’em, let them think whatever they want, let them demonise us and the artists we listen to. If it’s pissing them off then in my eyes it only means they’re doing something right.

Any publicity Rhymefest gets from this is only going to impress the Guardian and Independent readers and if that’s the demographic he wants to appeal to then fuck Rhymefest too.

More tea, vicar?

7 Replies to “Serve tea, then murder…”

  1. I didn’t realise that was a press release from his camp.

    Who the hell does he think he is?

    It’s time someone put an end to these dickheads from Chicago who think they’re saving us all.

    Kanye thinks he’s saving America by dropping a song about Jesus and a half hearted attempt at discussing the ills of the diamond industry.

    Now his buddy Rhymefest thinks he’s saving the UK by having tea with someone who couldn’t give a shit what any Hip-Hop artist or working class person has to say.

    Next it’ll be Lupe saving Japan by asking Godzilla to chill out a little bit.

    They all need to fuck off and drink some Guava juice with Common, at least he’s got a little humility.

    And to Rhymefest and his publicists – He’s not the voice/face of Hip-Hop in the UK nor will he ever be, you patronising bunch of twats.

  2. A to the L. I think that any Guardian or Independent readers would be severely happy with Rhymefest’s/Cameron’s actions, but only because they are so farcical. Guardian/Independent are the Left Wing High Brow press so would be more likely to poke fun at Cameron’s attempts to be down.
    The main tory papers are the Times, Telegraph etc.
    Sorry to be pedantic!
    Anyway it is pathetic, but in a way I quite like the fact that it has happened, because it should only do damage to the two protagonist’s reputations.

    P.S. I’m up for some Guava juice.

  3. ah, but if you read it more closely you’ll see that ol’ WD (the bit in italics) mentioned Guardianistas in relation to Rhymefest only – not Cameron…

    don’t worry about me treacle, I know the diff between the left and right wing press in the UK… we all know the answer is to buy the Daily Sport (for the football coverage of course)


    guava juice is mandatory btw

  4. Talking of the Guardian and Hiphop something needs to be done about their shit… They ran an article last week on Puffy “putting away the bling” which described Premier as “nerd-rap’s producer in chief” and was predictably ignorant throughout. I was gonna write a letter or something only to have the same writer pen an article about Hyphy this week in which she bigs up “Got My Vans On”. So… I’m a bit confused.

  5. Cheers,

    My faith is restored. I have to wonder what we expect from mainstream press though? I’m surprised Premier was even mentionned in a Newspaper in Britain. Anyone who wants to read some serious informed journalism on rap music would surely be reading HHC or using an online source eg. this one!

  6. bse’s comment highlights why it’s a bad thing to aim for the Guardian readership.

    It tends to be a mixed bag of well meaning but pointless bandwagon jumping do-gooders who listen to MIA just because she claims to be some kindo of third world revolutionary.

    And bse…

  7. I don’t think it’s that simple. I’m kind of torn on it. Anyone who’s even vaguely left of centre that wants a newspaper to go with their breakfast/lunch/busride that isn’t the Mirror is gonna be reading it (the decline of the Independant has pretty much seen to that). If you’re peoples that never read newspapers then whatever, I can’t speak on that. YES if you wanted Hiphop coverage you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper but thats no excuse for them having bad coverage. HHC is shite for the most part. Not in it’s oppinions but more the quality of writing. It’s pretty boring if you’re of drinking age.
    So i think a paper like the Guardian uught to have some well informed people to cover Hiphop since it’s going to have hiphop coverage regardless. Hiphop’s popularity demands this.
    As for it all being for MIA bandwagon jumpers I don’t think that rings true. If you take 20 people I know that read the Guardian (at least on a saturday) I’d say only about five would be considered middle class, none earn much and only about half of them listen to particularly Guardian-y music. They just buy the paper for the fucking international news coverage for the most part.
    I don’t know, it does matter and it doesn’t matter. I can’t decide if I care.

    They COULD have better informed writers when it comes to Hiphop and black music in general since it makes up about a third of the music they review, and since the COULD I tend to think they SHOULD.

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